kvaham rajah-prabhava isa tamo 'dhike 'smin
jatah suretara-kule kva tavanukampa
na brahmano na tu bhavasya na vai ramaya
yan me 'rpitah sirasi padma-karah prasadah
“O my Lord, O Supreme, because I was born in a family full of the hellish material qualities of passion and ignorance, what is my position? And what is to be said of Your causeless mercy, which was never offered even to Lord Brahma, Lord Siva or the goddess of fortune, Laksmi? You never put Your lotus hand upon their heads, but You have put it upon mine.”
(Bhag. 7.9.26)
(Invocatory prayers)
Prahlada’s remembrance of the Supreme LordSo the topic that I wanted to address is ‘meditation’ because Prahlada Maharaja is particularly famous for his meditation, for his remembrance of the Supreme Lord. It is stated that Pariksit Maharaja, through sravanam- hearing; Sukadeva Gosvami through kirtanam- glorifying and speaking about the Supreme Lord and Prahlada by smaranam- by remembering the Supreme Lord, by his constant meditation upon the Supreme Lord- a meditation which was very, very deep. His very name Prahlada is describing his qualities just as the name Hiranyakasipu is also describing the qualities- ‘Hiranya’ for gold and ‘kasipu’ for soft bed- which showed his materialistic mentality. The word ‘Prahlada’ is broken down in two syllables- ‘Prah’ and ‘alad’. It is said that the syllable ‘Prah’ stands for prakrstha rupena or ‘that which manifests in a full-fledged form. And then ‘Alad’ means happiness- so happiness in its full form.
So it is said that Prahlada regularly forgot himself- forgot everything, forgot the world around him, was dancing in ecstasy… Prahlada in this way, his remembrance of the Supreme Lord was accompanied by overwhelming happiness. So looking at Prahlada, then we’re looking at a liberated soul who is constantly absorbed in his meditation on the Supreme Lord. And that is the only priority in his life. That is the essence- there is nothing else. The material world doesn’t really concern him; the material world is not of importance to him. He’s there and he’s acting within the material world and that is important- he’s acting on behalf of the Supreme Lord and he’s fulfilling the mission of the Supreme Lord. Prahlada Maharaja is also known to be a famous preacher. And there’s another very famous verse:
prayena deva munayah sva-vimukti-kama
maunam caranti vijane na parartha-nisthah
naitan vihaya krpanan vimumuksa eko
nanyam tvad asya saranam bhramato 'nupasye
“My dear Lord Nrsimhadeva, I see that there are many saintly persons indeed, but they are interested only in their own deliverance. Not caring for the big cities and towns, they go to the Himalayas or the forest to meditate with vows of silence [mauna-vrata]. They are not interested in delivering others. As for me, however, I do not wish to be liberated alone, leaving aside all these poor fools and rascals. I know that without Krsna consciousness, without taking shelter of Your lotus feet, one cannot be happy. Therefore I wish to bring them back to shelter at Your lotus feet.” (Bhag. 7.9.44)
So this is also Prahlada who is on the one hand completely otherworldly, on the one hand he is completely absorbed in the spiritual reality. Nothing can break that; he is completely absorbed in remembering the Supreme Lord. And therefore whatever happens, all the various torture that are displayed here on the paintings on the wall- throwing off the cliffs, being pierced and so on- all that could not detour Prahlada’s mind; Prahlada was constantly remembering the Lord. And not only was he remembering the Lord but there was a certain quality to that remembrance. Because, we also remember Lord Nrsimhadeva at times- when we are afraid! ‘Nrsimhadeva! Nrsimhadeva!’ We also are taking shelter of the Lord at the time of difficulty but we do it in fear. We pray to Lord Nrsimhadeva, ‘O Lord, please save me now…!’ So in reality, our meditation is more on the danger. Our meditation is on the dangerous situation and then alright, now we pray to the Lord, ‘My Lord please save me from this danger!’ But Prahlada had a different mood; his mood was not overwhelmed by the danger of the situation but simply being completely surrendered, being completely absorbed in leaving it up to the Supreme Lord and not battling. The tendency to battle our fate is very strong in us- ‘It’s not working out! Why is it not happening the way I want it to happen?’ We want to somehow or other adjust the circumstances and make it the way that we want it to be. But Prahlada is different; Prahlada just, “alright, it is the mercy of the Lord, it is His kindness. Whatever is going on, He is making all these arrangements.” So Prahlada was not considering, ‘this is more important, that is favorable, this is unfavorable…’- it’s all mercy of the Lord. He always saw it as, ‘the Lord is sending me this.’
So this kind of consciousness is the consciousness of transcendence. There is a lot more and we’ll get to that later, but let me sort of define this kind of consciousness as the basis of transcendence.
Development of moods and mentalities in the material world
Now I want to go to the material world. It says,
“In this material world, every living entity desires some future happiness, which is exactly like a mirage in the desert. Where is water in the desert, or, in other words, where is happiness in this material world?”
The material world is not changing; the material world is basically remaining the same. It is going through cycles- it is going through the 4 yugas, which recur again and again- and basically the same basic principles apply again and again. Sometimes it’s referred to as the sat-urmi, the six waves of material existence or birth, hunger, thirst, lamentation, infirmity and death.
So we’re going through the motions but our perception of reality is changing with time. For example, in the Middle Ages, if there would be some misfortune it was the work of the devil! It was either the work of the devil or possibly some agents of the devil in the form of witches…so if someone felt sick then you could possibly think that some neighbor had something to do with it and did some black magic. That neighbor had to then be weighed and if that neighbor was too light then the neighbor had to be…well something to the neighbor had to be done- burn or drowning…something! So nowadays that’s sort of looked upon quite primitive. But in the town where I grew up, the scales where they used to weigh the witches is still there today! It’s known as the de waag, it’s a Dutch word- ‘the weighing place’ and you can still see it. And it’s famous for where witches were being weighed. So I’ve seen it many times. Another reality! Nowadays that looks so primitive, so cruel, so extreme, so totally bizarre! But in that particular era this was very normal.
So within the material world different moods and mentalities develop at different times. So lately I have been contemplating that a little bit and studying that a little bit- our particular era of time. Of course we can express it in our own philosophical terms as now we are living in the age of Kali. All right, that is the age of materialism, Iron Age and what not. But still, I was reading some literature on a point, which was referred to as, “Hinduism in Modernity.” It was not the biography of Bhaktivinoda Thakura but it is a book, which describes basically how the Vedic tradition fits with our modern tradition. And in the book it defines this modern tradition a little bit. So I wanted to present that.
ModernityIt describes first of all that there are some founding fathers of what is called, modernity. Modernity is not the same as modern times; modern times we saw from Charlie Chaplin, who is there on the conveyer belt turning bolts and in the end it gets to him and he starts turning noses! That was modern times. But modernity is a little different; modernity is more subtle. Modernity…it was saying had its founders and one of these founding fathers is Kant. And Kant, his main point as being a profit of modernity, is the philosophy of dare to think for yourself- which was of course revolutionary because one was supposed to think according to the tradition, according to the church and so on. Then came Hagel, another founder and Hagel came with the philosophy of mysticism- some concept of God- but he kind of cleansed all religion from superstition, angels in the heavens, a personal God walking around…and he laid the foundation of impersonalism in the West. And subsequently the worldview became more and more materialistic and then we had founders of communism and capitalism in Karl Marx and in Max Weber. And the things continued with the…it’s said that the second wave that created modernity- and that was psychology- was Freud and Yung and then followed by other psychologists.
Psychology is then defined as consisting of 3 categories: there is psychology one, that is inner, where the idea is that consciousness is going on by all electrical impulses in the brain and if you just manipulate those by some means or by chemicals then you can change the consciousness of a person or behaviorism. A second psychology tool is basically psychoanalysis: go deep in yourself and find the problems and then work out your problems. And then psychology three is basically about self-expression, how we have so much potential to express ourselves but unfortunately due to oppressive material factors- both mental and physical- we are not able to come to this stage of self-expression.
So these are some of the personalities that made the ingredients of the time in which we live and which have made the ingredients of how we think. And that’s why I found it interesting because we think in these ways, very much. Think for yourself is very much something of modern times. I mean in my days when I was sort of exploring that think for yourself- I don’t know how old I was, much younger than today- then one of my favorite bands was the band named The Animals- just the name was good! And there was the song of course, ‘It’s my life and I do what I want, do I what I want…!’ (Dramatic) So it’s deeply engrained in us this think for ourselves- very deep and it’s very hard to stop it.
The Krsna conscious perspectiveKrsna consciousness offers us a very interesting respond to these because on the one hand in Krsna consciousness there is mano-dharma, which is speculation. This mano-dharma is actually forbidden activity- forbidden dharma. So speculation is strongly condemned on the one hand. And on the other hand we are looking at such references where it is said that a vaisnava is independently thoughtful. So we must have also this independent thoughtfulness. If we don’t think for ourselves about what we are doing, why we are doing, then we are sort of walking along in the herd- and of course it’s a good herd, it’s a herd of vaisnavas! So in that way it’s nice; we will be purified but somewhere along the line we have to become personal. It is a form of impersonalism to simply walk along the herd because ultimately we have to offer all our abilities to Krsna. So we have to realize who we are, where we are, what our attributes are and what we can do- what our capacity is in terms of offering.
Meditation on our relationship with KrsnaTherefore thoughtfulness about our relationship with Krsna is essential. It brings me back to the main topic of the lecture, which is meditation- Prahlada’s meditation. And my point then is that the meditation has to be not simply on Krsna, that we merely focus on Krsna, but the meditation is that we focus on who Krsna is. And Krsna is, as we all know- the all-attractive. All attractive refers to a personality in this case and as soon as a personality is all-attractive, in the very word, relationship is included. There’s no such thing as saying that someone’s all attractive, that you’re only speaking about that person. Therefore as soon as we speak about Krsna, which means the all-attractive, then we’re speaking about more than Krsna alone; we’re speaking about our relationship with Krsna. This is very interesting. So sooner or later within the meditation, a relationship comes in- our personal relationship. That personal relationship may exist on different levels and then it exists on the level of the liberated souls and then it exists on the level of the sadhakas. The liberated soul in his relationship, obviously is living in his eternal identity in the spiritual world and that is the level which is right now a little difficult for us to approach. So I will put it for a moment on the shelf and I’ll stay with the relationship with the sadhaka- the practitioner in devotional service who has developed attraction for Krsna but is still facing anarthas within the heart. I will for now discuss meditation on the Supreme Lord on that platform.
Meditation of the sadhakaThe meditation on the Supreme Lord in this way, however, has to do very much also with the personal nature and relationship that the sadhaka has. He may not have fully have developed his eternal relationship but naturally every sadhaka has a personality- we have personality. And according to our personalities we can serve in different ways. Like myself, somehow or other, as long as I can remember, I have been singing in my life. I mean when I was very small I was singing and it’s something that if there’s a day without singing then that is a miserable day! In my life, boy, that’s a depressing day! It has to be there everyday for as long as I can remember. And thus I always draw to that. On the other hand with puja, I never had it so much. Somehow or other I’m not one for lots of flowers and lots of…maybe it’s conditioning since I’m from a protestant country, maybe it could well be! So all the ritual is a bit much for some sober Dutchman! But whatever, somehow I was never a success as a pujari I must say. Other things I could do. So some things I could do, some things I couldn’t do. And everyone has that- some things he can do…
I mean we have some maharatis in book distribution, who are sitting sort of on my right here. Some of them are here- the stalwarts! And their fame is forever recorded for all those books that distributed. It has not failed to amaze us how they could possibly do it. They have explained it to us many times but somehow or other I also think they are became like that because they were good at it, because they could do many books. It’s hard when you’re on the street year after year and you do everyday one, two or three books! Of course you can hear lectures where you’re saying, well that one book is maybe the book that makes a devotee…and that’s very nice to hear in a lecture. But if you’re there day after day doing only one or two then after some time you really start thinking, ‘maybe I need a change of service!’ It does happen! So success in a particular service and ability in a particular service also has to do something with it.
Our identity unfolds with timeAnd after some time we see that devotees begin to develop their identity! Suddenly someone goes into the kitchen and we see it- he’s a cook! We didn’t know at first that all new bhaktas and this that…and it took some time, but then suddenly it clicked, ‘hey, he’s a cook!’ Like I have one disciple and he’s from Africa- black bodied. So there are not so many. So I always thought that he will be a preacher. And I told him, “You’re going to be a preacher.” So I sent him to India to study something in Bhakti Sastri and I told him before, that after you have to come back and preach…and he didn’t want to! He didn’t want to! And instead he wanted to study sanskrit! So I said, Sanskrit? What in the world are you’re going to do with Sanskrit? Are you going to teach sanskrit to the Africans? I mean they’re not really waiting for a sanskrit teacher right now you know! Just teach them Srimad Bhagavatam and Bhagavad Gita and that will do! Why do you want to go so deep in sanskrit? But he was very determined so I agreed after some time. He said, “yes, but it’s not the Sanskrit but I need the culture.” But then as time developed, he on his own, one day he told me that, “I had been working on translations- not from sanskrit- but from English to African” and suddenly I realised, he’s a translator! His identity became unfolded- ah! Now it makes sense! Sanskrit’s good for a translator! Sometimes he can refer back to the original text. It all clicked you know! Africa, translator, preaching- everything was complete! But I couldn’t see his identity before. So gradually our identity begins to unfold, begins to become uncovered in service- little by little. And it’s like at one point, you see that different devotees develop absorption in a different way and they develop a meditation- it becomes a meditation that service. And of course it expands that meditation.
Meditation has to do with our commitmentTherefore what I like to offer today is, to meditate on Krsna is very important and we can do it as a sadhana. Just to hear about Krsna- anything about Krsna…sometimes I read a book of Krsnadas Kaviraja Gosvami named, Suka-sari Samhita, which is about two parrots glorifying Krsna and they begin to describe Krsna’s lotus feet. And they have different explanations and then slowly they begin to describe the different ankles, they glorify the calves of Krsna- they glorify the entire body of Krsna. And the whole book gives you a very detailed darsana of Krsna with a nice meditation. So I like to read that sometimes because it’s an uddipana- it is an impetus to start remembering Krsna and an impetus for meditating on Krsna. So such type of things are there- we are chanting and we are remembering Krsna, we’re taking darsana of the Deity and we’re remembering Krsna and all over the world we have (sings) govindam adi purusam. But here we have Krsna Ksetra singing those Nrsimha mantras and it has to be because how can you sing about the sweetness of Lord Nrsimhadeva! It has to have a few more teeth, if you know what I mean! So it’s very nice, I like that. As far as I am concerned it is absolutely controlled by Lord Nrsimhadeva Himself who just used His pujari and then there’s no false ego in it at all. It’s just the Lord Himself who wanted it like this- I’m quite sure about that. So I appreciate it.
So the reciprocation comes; one becomes the instrument of the Lord. Because meditation is not just focusing on the Supreme Lord, it is also the Supreme Lord reciprocating with us and it is also how He chooses to act. But He particularly chooses those who have made a commitment. Therefore meditation on the Supreme Lord is always accompanied by a commitment. If we make a commitment in service to the Supreme Lord, that we are committing, ‘yes I am Your servant,’ and that commitment can increase. ‘As Your servant I will sacrifice my attachments. Although I have them I will give them up. I’ll make that commitment. I’ll make a commitment to be a good saddhaka, to really get serious about sadhana. I’ll make a commitment to take responsibility for Srila Prabhupada’s mission. His desire for spreading Krsna consciousness is so strong…’ In this way, commitment exists also, on many levels. But as we are committing in devotional service and taking up a service, then immediately the meditation gets depth and immediately the reciprocation is beginning to happen.
Just like the Deity; it’s very difficult to relate to the Deity as the Supreme Personality of Godhead. Lord Caitanya, when He came before the form of Lord Jagannatha, He just jumped on the altar and was about to embrace Lord Jagannatha. That didn’t happen to us yet…! Although we may have our experiences in front of the Deities but we can see that Lord Caitanya’s experience of the Deity was like not only some sort of vague or shallow experience- here’s the Supreme Lord, not just some expression of feelings- yes my dear Krsna, please allow me to do some devotional service, a prayerful darsana- No, it was an overwhelming tidal wave! It was an overwhelming tidal wave of the Supreme Lord, which lifted Him beyond all reason and made Him act in an uncontrolled way- beyond His own conception so to speak. It was no more a conscious thought.
I’ll give an example, which is a mundane example, but I use to go in America, sometimes to the Shelter concerts and they were very loud. And I saw that everyone had earplugs except me! So anyway, that worried me. I put tissues in my ears! And then the crowd got really wild. Then they put me on the stage and I was next to the tower speakers, and my cloth was moving on the sound- that’s how loud it was! So it was serious! And then Raghunatha, the lead singer of Shelter, he is very cool- very controlled. So he’s singing and then as part of this culture of straight edge, you know, the singer is supposed to dive into the audience and things like that. And Raghunatha would do some thing like elegant karate kicks over the heads of the crowd! And he would jump- but if he jumped he also looked over his shoulder to make sure that they caught him nicely. But then there was another one- there was a young kid, named Mickey Prema! And Mickey Prema, when he got into the straight edge, he was mad! There was no other word for it! Totally mad! He screamed, he hollowed, he rolled…you just never knew…and when he was rolling off the stage- head was down or wherever it was and if people would catch him or not- that was not in his mind. It’s a gross example! But it shows something about our expressions to the Deities, our expressions of ecstasy…our expressions are a little controlled you know- conscious. But it’s not like Lord Caitanya.
What does Krsna want?So meditation on the Supreme Lord has everything to do with commitment, it has everything to do with absorption in service and with a relationship- it is this relationship. The relationship that exists now; the relationship is right here, Krsna is here right here- He’s here every moment. Every moment in our life we’re experiencing Him. Somehow or other He’s arranging it all- everything. That’s why when I took the wrong verse I was wondering what I should do now! Was I meant to? Anyway…I still went back to the one I had been thinking about. The point that I’m trying to make is that if we have no meditation in our spiritual life then we will do everything but then spiritual life will all be duty, duty and ‘I’m trying to be a good devotee, I’m trying to surrender, I’m really trying to do everything…’ but some meditation is also required, that we begin to look for Krsna, that we begin to see Krsna and that we begin to at least to see Krsna’s hand, Krsna’s arrangement in things- that we begin to look at what does Krsna desire. In this way a vaisnava is making plans; a vaisnava is making plans carefully, carefully trying to be aware what does Krsna want actually, what does He desire, how does He wish to proceed now. And if something opens up three times- three times the same opportunity comes- then we think maybe Krsna really wants it now or we didn’t want it and then we think, it must be Krsna then telling me, ‘take it! Take it! Take it!’ because it comes back again and again. If you try to leave and first of all, you’re in the room and you lose the key and you have a hard time getting out and you climb out of the window and somehow or other you get into the car and it doesn’t want to start and then when you further go, it starts to snow in Nrsimha Ksetra and before you know it within hour there’s 2m of now- which can happen here; I’ve seen the whole temple dug in snow! So when these things happen, ‘but I have to go, I have to go!’ or at one point you can think, ‘well, maybe Lord Nrsimhadeva wants me to stay! Maybe I just have to stay!’
So a vaisnava has to be a little soft; he cannot just be so…(dramatic)…we see these yogis in the Kumbha-Mela seated on their elephant…(dramatic) their determination is hard like a diamond, and it is effulgent and they have power and tejas! They sit on their trident and they just come along in a parade…and it’s shocking! And they look at you and there’s thunderbolts shooting from their eyes…you have to look in another direction! Boy, intense guys! Absolutely! But a vaisnava, his determination is soft and at the same time very fixed- very firm but also soft. ‘Just let the Lord guide me… wherever He will lead me I will follow…’
So this is there within the meditation of the sadhaka and also there within the meditation of the liberated soul. And in this way, gradually we begin to meditate. The other day I was offering second initiation to one devotee and after that the devotee said like, ‘well, ya…what am I supposed to do now? What does it really mean this second initiation? How does it really change my life?’ and if course you can say many things about that. But today in the context of this lecture, I will say, now begins your conscious meditation. Now you have to start really meditating because before you were maybe also meditating but in the second initiation, with the gayatri mantra, the gayatri mantra gives us that meditation. It’s the beginning of our meditation of our relationship, of seeing how Krsna acts and we trying to adjust ourselves to the desire of Krsna. And in this way one is meditating upon Krsna as a servant and always thinking, ‘how can I be what the Lord and His representatives desire? How can I be servant?’ because all relationships with Krsna are based on servitorship.
Then in due course of time the sadhaka becomes very advanced and gradually may develop his eternal relationship with the Supreme Lord. Krsna is akhila-rasamrta-murti, He is the complete reservoir, the personification (murti) of all rasas. Krsna in this way is making the relationship more deeper and deeper and deeper and deeper. And from our side also, we increase the service- not just in quantity but in quality. We increase our meditation, we chant the holy name and it’s very interesting…let me just a little bit describe a little more advanced levels of meditation also, since I came this far.
Advanced levels of meditation
In Jaiva Dharma, which is a book of Srila Bhaktivinoda Thakura, there is an interesting reference- a reference about Svarupa Damodara Gosvami accepting various great devotees and guiding them in their development of their eternal relationship with Krsna. One is Raghunatha das Gosvami that he’s guiding, and the other one is Gopala Guru Gosvami, who has a disciple named Dhyanacandra Gosvami. It’s said there in Jaiva Dharma that Raghunatha das Gosvami was taught to follow the path of automatic revelation of the spiritual identity, which automatically would emerge from his sadhana. And it’s said that Gopala Guru Gosvami and Dhyanacandra Gosvami were following the path of conscious contemplation and trying to cultivate their spiritual identity by meditating on it consciously. I found it very interesting when I came across that point that these two were mentioned. And I was thinking yes, it seemed that Srila Prabhupada stressed more the automatic approach- we just simply serve and in due course of time automatically the relationship with Krsna will emerge. But both paths are bona fide. We will find some vaisnavas in different traditions who are following different paths. So some vaisnavas are into the mood of conscious contemplation, very much on their eternal identity- both within ISKCON and both in our Gaudiya tradition and even beyond. So within our Gaudiya tradition both approaches are bona fide and recognised and both elements are there.
But in this age- the age of grace, the age of the mercy of Lord Caitanya- I’m inclined towards the automatic revelation because who am I to meditate on Krsna in such depth that I can reach my spiritual identity through that? So that, I’ll leave it up to the Lord. But the two are very close because one has to also understand that as a person, Krsna also has His own eternal reality. There is the astaka lila- the eight-fold pastimes of Krsna at different times of the day and night- and Krsna is preoccupied in such activities.
These are exalted topics. All I can say is that gradually, step by step, our meditation is becoming deeper and deeper and our service is increasing, our understanding of Krsna is increasing, our understanding of the holy name is increasing- we don’t just think of the name, we think of Krsna, we see Krsna practically, we see Krsna in His pastimes in all His relationships- and in this way, all that will become more and more meaningful the more we make our commitment.
So conclusion. The conclusion is that…I’m going to this text 44, where I was before:
“My dear Lord Nrsimhadeva, I see that there are many saintly persons indeed, but they are interested only in their own deliverance. Not caring for the big cities and towns, they go to the Himalayas or the forest to meditate with vows of silence [mauna-vrata]. They are not interested in delivering others. As for me, however, I do not wish to be liberated alone, leaving aside all these poor fools and rascals. I know that without Krsna consciousness, without taking shelter of Your lotus feet, one cannot be happy. Therefore I wish to bring them back to shelter at Your lotus feet.”
Real compassion- to experience a greater reality and then give
So my final point is compassion- Prahlada’s compassion. I was thinking about compassion and I was thinking, you cannot really have compassion for someone else’s condition unless you’re experiencing that you’re in a better position yourself. Only when you’re experiencing a better position can you develop compassion. Otherwise you can try to cultivate some sort of mood and compassion…(dramatic)…with some breathing exercise, open the heart and feel like, ‘kindly accept this mercy…’ That’s nice, but real compassion means that one must himself experience deeply experience a greater reality and then from that platform then we can really give. Then our compassion is very deep and complete. So in this way, I spoke about meditation to emphasize this need, to develop this real depth where we are experiencing- truly experiencing- how wonderful is Krsna in His relationship with us. And from this relationship of how wonderful is Krsna, that we can develop true compassion and then we can take up this mood of Prahlada and say, ‘I will not go back to Godhead alone- no! I will somehow or other deliver all these materialistic fools.’ So ultimately my lecture was a sankirtana lecture- believe it or not!
Any questions or comments?
HH Sacinandana Maharaja: I very much appreciated the part in your lecture where you talked about finding what one should do in life. And you gave the example of this devotee who first…when you thought one way was chalked out for him in life but then you saw different inclinations- he first went to a Sanskrit school and then finally he realised his nature. So I myself am thinking very deeply about this because this is one of the major questions of modern people and especially devotees, ‘what should I do? What is really my purpose in life?’ and I wanted to ask you if you have any other ideas or tips for devotees and for people in general to find their way…I think that what modern people will say is that you go into different activity roles and see what suites you. Like you try this and when it doesn’t click you try that and if it doesn’t click you try that…?
Maharaja: Nice. Yes, it’s interesting this point because we deal with it. Additional to a person’s individual choice and trying to seek his own nature, there is of course the desire of the spiritual master, which sometimes may direct a person into a service that is not at all according to his inclination. Then it’s a great sacrifice. Some feel, ‘how long can I sacrifice my nature in this way?’ and this creates conflict also. But one must be prepared to do something else than what one has conceived.
If I look back at my own life I could have been so many things; I could have been a scholar if I would have time. But they didn’t give me time to read so I had to squeeze some time to read. It’s my excuse now but others became scholars anyway. So it maybe a poor excuse! I could have been so many things…maybe I could have sat down with Aindra in Vrndavana- I was there in ’84 and I maybe I could have just done the bhajanas together with him! And his influence is huge! I mean, Aindra’s preaching is something else- it’s everywhere! It’s amazing what he did with that preaching; he started a whole culture in ISKCON! We never had that so much- sit down with the harmonium. It was more like, ‘clang, clang! Bang! Fly! Bang!’ and so on. Whompers on the floor and that was it! And this meditative sort of style, he made it big. So maybe I should have done that but it didn’t work out like that. After 7 days they told me to be a manager! And then after a little while, as managers do, I took a vacation! And I went back to the west and I became a book distributor! And then I went back to India and back to management again.
Whatever it was…and for many years I was wondering, ‘is this me?’ but it was difficult also to just do that service for many years when I felt somewhere that there was something else in me. Then one day I was in Mayapur and Bhavananda stood behind me. And he looked at all the construction in Mayapur, we both saw all these buildings, and he said, “do you like construction?” and I felt this very eerie feeling… ‘Oh no, it’s not true, he doesn’t mean it!’ so my brain was moving at lightning speed and I thought what can I say now you know! I said, “no, err, not so much…I have a lot of asthmatic problems with all the cement!” and then next moment he put his heavy hand on my shoulder and said, “good! You’re in charge of all construction in Mayapur!” I was like…it felt like I was in a huge church bell! It was still ringing! And what to do, for 6 years Maharaja, only bricks, steel and cement and only envious Muslims to deal with, so who could I preach to? And I was thinking, I’m a preacher, I want to preach, why am I doing this? It was too much! I must say I was amazed how many people come to Krsna consciousness through that samadhi after it was finished. I never thought of it like that. But when it was finished…wow! I was preaching actually!
So what to do? So it’s not all about propensity, not all about inclination, not all about rotating and trying out. But it’s natural that somewhere something begins to click, something that we do especially nice and that we have a special taste for it and it becomes obvious to everyone and the vaisnavas gradually begin to recognise that. So it comes automatically by the grace of Krsna but prior to it, one must really display service attitude. If one, without displaying a humble service attitude and just be an instrument, and starts to reach our for propensity in this way, that way then all that we start to do is feed material desires. Our material desires will become stronger and stronger, we become restless, and ‘I don’t like this temple anymore, I don’t like this service anymore, the relationship with my spiritual master is just not really happening- he just doesn’t understand me!’ but have you understood your spiritual master? Who is supposed to understand who!
So I’m thinking about these things…but that particular sva-dharma, is the one service that will be triumphant, it will emerge. Yesterday we were chatting outside and I was remembering one devotee…you know in the mid 80’s in Vrndavana there was some change in the management and the new management was very heavy- very heavy. And one big leader of the time sat down on the vyasasana and gave his lecture and said, “No one is qualified to stay in Vrndavana- nobody! Everyone has to go out!’ So all devotees who had been in Vrndavana for many years were sort of like…(dramatic) so a little growl under our breaths! ‘We’re not going from Vrndavana- no way! If that’s what you have in mind- forget it!’ so there was a bit of resistance to that speech. And then he felt it so then he started preaching on surrender and he preached that everyone should be surrendered and we’re all like, ‘hmmm…’ and then he said, “and everyone must be ready to do any service, including washing the pots! And is there anyone who doesn’t want to wash the pots?” And then there was one devotee, a senior devotee- Prabhupada’s disciple- who raised his hand and he raised it like…(dramatic)! It was clear that he didn’t want to wash the pots or didn’t like the mood of the forcefulness of the lecture- his hand was very expressive. So the leader said, “then, then what do you want to do?” he said, “I want to read the Bhagavatam!” he gave him a one-way ticket and that devotee left.
But I must say that that devotee did it; he read the Bhagavatam, he really read the Bhagavatam- for years- and I met him years later and he had the habit to walk into my room with a Bhagavatam in his hand and say, “you know what I just read?” and then he’ll read it out to me. So it was nice! He’s actually my friend! He’s a real friend- someone who walks into my room and starts reading the Bhagavatam- I wish that would happen more often, instead of ‘have you heard of such and such Maharaja?’ no I haven’t heard! ‘And have you read…? And do you want to?’ No! It’s very kind of you, I rather not. So someone who reads the Bhagavatam is my friend. So it emerged, he followed the propensity. And nowadays he even has a website with recordings of the readings of the Bhagavatam and some other books that we can download there.
So like this, in my perception, it emerges. But then again, Sacinandana Maharaja, you usually have your own answer to the question also! (Laughter) so maybe you can tell us…!
HH Sacinandana Maharaja: I didn’t really think of anything…I just wanted to milk the cow! But I really wanted to know what you would say; I’m trying to become a humble vaisnava…Hare Krsna. Thank you for your answer.
Maharaja: Thanks Maharaja. Anyone else? Yes?
Devotee: In the beginning you spoke about impetus. I wanted to know what was the ultimate impetus for accepting the position of guru?
Maharaja: What was my ultimate impetus for accepting the position of a guru? It was a funny situation actually, to tell you the truth! Because, I was in Mayapur and you know, in many successive years different leaders in ISKCON thought that I should be the GBC for France! And I politely thanked them for that offer but didn’t accept. And then that particular year, they were getting disturbed about it and were saying, “this Kadamba Kanana Swami is just trying to escape responsibilty; why doesn’t he just become the GBC for France?” and the whole GBC body had a discussion and sent down a delegate to ask me to be the GBC for France. So well, when the whole GBC body wants something you start to think well, this is the will of the vaisnavas, maybe it’s the will of Krsna! So I was getting a little confused and said, should I just give up this stubbornness and really do it?
So I went to Jayadvaita Maharaja who is very good for taking people off the mental platform! So he just told me, “GBC? Forget it!” “GBC for France? Definitely forget it!” he said, “no, I was thinking something else and I wanted to talk to you about that…” and he said, “and I’ve discussed it with many senior vaisnavas and so on and I was thinking that you should initiate disciples!” So I said, “this is getting pretty funny! The whole GBC wants me to be GBC for France and you say forget it, and now you say initiate disciples and the whole GBC body will say forget it!” He said, “Yes, yes, I have thought about that. Therefore I think that you should just do it on…I have designed a particular way that you can do it without doing it…” I thought, oh my gosh! This is going to be something! So then he says, “well, you know you can initiate the disciples on my behalf, so they will be formerly my disciples but I’m fully placing them under your care.” I go like, “uhm, you mean something like ritvik?” (Laughter) and he goes, “something like that, yes.” I go like, “okay…I mean what’s the GBC going to say about that? There’s not really anything like that. There’s no GBC resolutions really supporting that…” He said, “Ya, that’s alright, there’s no GBC resolution against it! So that’s what we’ll do.”
Then on the 9 July- you remember the ritvik letter, the famous one where ‘henceforth…’ you know, that one, where it said, ‘from now on these and these personalities can initiate disciples on my behalf,’ the ritvik letter that was written by Srila Prabhupada’s secretary- that one, that was written on the 9 July! So Jayadvaita Maharaja wrote a letter on 9 July and addressed it to all temple presidents, “henceforth…” so it was verbatim- but a little editing! And that letter, he didn’t send it to the temple presidents but he sent it to the GBC body! Well that created quite a revolution! So GBC police force came to pull us over to arrest us and saying, ‘what do they think they’re doing! They can’t do this! And they’re probably doing it right now! We have to stop them right away!’ all this was going on and they came to Jayadvaita Maharaja and they presented the matter to him. And the GBC president of the time said, “Jayadvaita Swami! You can’t do this!” and Maharaja said, “oh, could you explain me why?” “It’s against the GBC law!” And Jayadvaita Maharaja goes, “which law- the written one or the unwritten one?” and they didn’t have a written law. So that was it!
So they had a little emergency meeting and then next thing, they approved it, at least that it could go on from kartik until Mayapur and then they would rediscuss it in the Mayapur meetings. So for 6 months I was a ritvik guru of Jayadvaita Maharaja and I initiated 2 people on behalf of Jayadvaita Maharaja in that way. Then in the GBC meetings in Mayapur they didn’t like the ritvik system so much because they thought that some might take advantage and become a ritvik in every town and village! So they rather preferred the regular thing. So then they made this resolution that if the spiritual master gives an order to a disciple, that that disciple then may also take up this service.
So really, it wasn’t my idea- I had really sort of said let that wait. But somehow or other when he desired it he explained, he said, “For pushing on this movement you should do it.” Then upon his order I accepted. And then once you have the order on your head, then you have to think, now how am I becoming qualified? So ever since that time I’m really deeply thinking, how can I become more qualified? And if anyone has any suggestions then after the class you can privately tell me! I would be most happy to hear how I can become more qualified.
Devotee: Did you see what was the problem, why they didn’t want a new guru?
Maharaja: No because there is the principle of initiating in the presence of one’s spiritual master is generally not done. But the order of the guru is so strong that if the guru gives the order, then general rules of etiquette may be superseded. That’s all from Caitanya Caritamrta when Caitanya Mahaprabhu accepted Govinda, His god brother as His servant, then he made that statement. So in this way it was the order of the guru in this case and they are precedence, but the GBC had to give blessings so eventually they did. So now there are a few of such initiating spiritual masters such as Bhakti Vijnana Maharaja.
Okay, quick and quick answer- table tennis!
Devotee: What was the meaning of weighing? Because you said in your city they have these scales…
Maharaja: Weighing the witches. They were flying on broomsticks so they were very light. And when they weighed them if they were too light. They said witches were too light; they were lighter than ordinary people! They knew things about witches that you don’t know! Anyway, we have reincarnated since the Middle Ages and now are living in this modernity, where we are in the psychology age- deeply absorbed in our own minds instead of Krsna!
Okay, thank you very much. I want to end because it is getting late. Srila Prabhupada ki, Jaya!